Michelle Grattan August 25, 2011
Prime Minister Julia Gillard leaves the House after terminating question time yesterday. Photo: Andrew Meares
WHEN people hear government members mouthing exactly the same lines on issues, it's because they've all learnt them from their daily ''round the world'' cheat sheets. One Labor MP yesterday inadvertently shared them, by leaving the notes on an opposition seat in Parliament.
Yesterday's brief had a response for almost everything - especially lots of answers on the embattled MP Craig Thomson. As usual, it had been put together after staff, rising at an ungodly hour, scanned the overnight and morning media.
If quizzed on a report that Mr Thomson lobbied a business to give his former wife a job, the answer was: ''I'm not across the details, but it seems to me I haven't seen many weaker front pages in my time.''
Then, ''if pushed'': ''His ex-wife didn't get the job, so I'm not sure there's much to talk about here.''
On whether enough work was done in checking out Mr Thomson before the election: ''Craig is a hard worker for his local community. Obviously that's a big factor in preselections.''
There were lines on the latest death in Afghanistan, and a lot on asylum seekers. If asked about the plane waiting on Christmas Island to transfer asylum seekers to Malaysia - assuming the government wins the High Court case - MPs were advised to say: ''This is a prudent arrangement that achieves value for money for taxpayers' dollar expenditure.''
Bonuses for BlueScope executives, volatile financial markets, Libya, Qantas, dangerous dogs and same-sex marriage were all covered.
If asked ''hasn't your climate policy failed to move voters?'' the required response was ''the test of our plan to cut pollution isn't a newspaper poll''.
And on Opposition Leader Tony Abbott, ''he's behaving like a two-year-old'' in refusing to stick to the convention of pairing a Coalition MP for an absent government MP when the carbon bills are voted on.
Also under the heading ''Abbott'' - presumably to be pushed with or without a question - ''At the end of the day, you can't take the bloke seriously.''
