Ed Butler theguardian.com, Wednesday 16 April 2014
The NSW premier has resigned, but did he do it in style? The world of good manners in politics is a tricky one to navigate – but we have a guide to help
Forgetting a gift worth $3,000? An enormous faux pas, surely...
Barry O’Farrell: undone by the gracious acceptance of a bottle of wine he isn’t allowed to drink in Kings Cross after 3am. Undone by, of all things, a thank you note.
It’s a lament as old as time, isn’t it? “Kids these days have no manners. In my day, I hand-delivered a thank you essay inscribed in blood on vellum every time someone told me my hair looked good.” The (former) NSW premier is clearly a beacon of good comportment in his observance of the niceties of graft and back room reciprocity.
Not only did he graciously accept a kind gift (and let’s be honest, if you received a nice bottle of plonk whose vintage shared your birthday, you’d be impressed, non?), but he posted off a hand-written, and not at all perfunctory, note of thanks. Although let’s be honest, the stamp indicating that he was, in fact, premier, was a bit gauche.
But was he really all that gracious? How long did he take to send the note? It's always a crucial element in any thank you note, just ask your mum. And then, what about him forgetting that he received the wine in the first place? An enormous faux pas, surely (no doubt you have a necklace or jumper that has been bestowed upon you by a grandmother that only gets worn when you head around for lasagne every fourth Sunday).
So Barry either forgot the note, or lied about receiving it, and it’s hard to decide whether absent-mindedness or public disavowal is the greater transgression (let’s be honest, Bob Carr would never have forgotten a bottle of Grange).
But then again, Barry was polite enough to resign right away. No undignified denials, no flailing publicly at potential scapegoats. No, once he knew he was cooked, he put shelved his pride and took the blame. A fine example for any budding social paragon.
As you, dear reader, have no doubt gathered, we are balancing a book on our heads while traversing a genteel minefield here. One can only imagine the difficulties facing those of the political persuasion. Fortunately you have me, your spirit guide, to hold your gloved hand as you attempt to navigate the treacherous waters of manners, elections and some cheeky (alleged) corruption while keeping your job. May I present:
A guide to etiquette for a post-Icac world
DON’T accept gifts – from anyone.
DON’T write a polite thank you note on appropriately weighted paper. And if you must;
DON’T underline strangely incriminating words in the polite note, or stamp it with your name and title.
DON’T pretend you know more about wine than you do, and certainly don’t comment on the wine if you’ve yet to drink it.
DON’T lie about it when caught.
DO ensure that your jurisdiction’s anti-corruption body is utterly, utterly emasculated.
DO avoid red wine, generally. And if you must;
DO refrain from putting your penis in or near it.
I hope this has been something of a useful guide. And before you launch into a gleeful tirade about political corruption ... aren’t we all a bit impolite in our schadenfreude?
