Parliamentary Sketch Writer for the Sydney Morning Herald
March 15, 2013
UNDER THE FLAG
Not again: Shadow treasurer Joe Hockey during question time. Photo: Alex Ellinghausen
In what must be a small consolation to Prime Minister Julia Gillard and her Communications Minister Stephen Conroy, Joe Hockey is also having a bad week.
First, the shadow treasurer got overruled by his colleague and families spokesman Kevin Andrews on the issue of the baby bonus. It can't be easy losing a fight to a man who looks like he uses a ruler to part his hair.
With Tony Abbott out daily promising to shower cash on everyone and their Aunty Martha, Hockey needs all the savings measures he can get.
The government is legislating to reduce the bonus for second and subsequent children, a savings measure Hockey would like very much to support, given he could be curling his own fist around the federal clutch-purse before the year is out.
With Opposition Leader Tony Abbott out daily promising to shower cash on everyone and their Aunty Martha, Hockey needs all the savings measures he can get.
But family values advocates within the shadow cabinet, led by the usually domitable member for Menzies (who, among other achievements, has written a page-turner on the importance of marriage) reportedly bested Hockey.
As Treasurer Wayne Swan cruelly pointed out in question time on Wednesday: ''If he got rolled by the member for Menzies, he could be rolled by anybody!''
Then came the Manuka Wallet Incident. On Thursday morning Hockey tweeted: ''i have just had to learn the painful lesson again . . . Don't leave your wallet in the car even when parked in a driveway #ouch.''
It was the presence of the ''again'' in this Homer Simpson-esque communiqué that was most worrying.
How many times has the Hockey-purse been misplaced? Should he invest in some sort of fob chain to attach it to his person? What future budgetary implications might his absent-mindedness have? As Oscar Wilde might have tweeted: to lose one wallet may be regarded as a misfortune, etc.
The final humiliation came on Thursday when Hockey was kicked out of question time for bellowing interjections during the Assistant Treasurer David Bradbury's answer to a question about GST spoils.
A cruel joke was made about carving up the GST ''pie'' (the kind only a politician would find funny), a reference to Hockey's former girth.
Gillard would have been happy for the distraction. Before and after question time, a flurry of leadership speculation was kicked up like dust at the rodeo. The government was either on the cusp of another spill, or the Coalition was spreading rumours to that effect to distract from very pleasing job creation figures released earlier.
Next week, the wild bull ride continues.
